My 2cents on dreams

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”—Walt Disney

“Where there is a will, there is a way”-Pauline Kael

“Impossible is Nothing”-Muhammad Ali

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while.

As you might be aware, at the end of last year I decided to create my own advent calendar, to share a daily quote and spread some positivity, especially during these difficult times.

While doing my research for the posts, I came across several quotes along the lines of: “If you have a dream, success or failure depend on you and how much effort you put into it”. And I don’t know about you, but I find this message wrong, misleading and most importantly, dangerous. In a world where social media are basically our way to keep in touch with family and friends, and our tool to “spy” on the absolutely incredible lives of influencers, actors and models, I think it is time to stop for a second and think about the messages we are receiving and (spreading).

While I totally agree that to reach a goal it is important to study, work on it, believe in yourself and be focused, at the same time we cannot blame ourselves for every single thing we don’t achieve. “If I only slept 5 hours every day”, “if I only didn’t have lunch breaks”, “if only I didn’t meet up with my friends on that Thursday evening”… we need to stop. We need to stop thinking that everything has to be obtained with blood, sweat and tears, that following our dreams has to be a painful process, that successful people don’t have a family/social life/hobbies, that the only way to reach our goals is to give 100% of ourselves and if we fail it means we didn’t give it enough.

First of all, we need to understand that what we see on Instagram is only a photo, a story, a reel, it is not real life. We don’t know what people are going through, if what they choose to show us is the full story or if they are struggling at anything in life. Even if they are actually living the perfect life, we don’t know what is their story, what opportunities they had and how they got there in the end. Comparing ourselves to the others, thinking “how did they manage to go this far?” or “that could have been me if only…” is just painful, pointless, and unhealthy. We all have a different story, different energy, different worries, different lives.

And keeping blaming ourselves whenever we fail, just because “if you dream it, you can do it”, is just a way to keep pushing ourselves, to see how far we can go if we can only can sleep less or train more, repeating this circle more and more any time we don’t succeed at something.

What I think we should all realise, is that even those champions we see on the TV, or that colleague that keeps getting promotions you were sure would be yours, sometimes fail. Sometimes they don’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning, sometimes they don’t finish their veggies at dinner and, most importantly, sometimes they just do nothing. Because it is normal, it is human and it is absolutely fine. It is easier to just share big accomplishments, fantastic news and glamorous celebrations on Instagram, but we don’t know the full story and we don’t need to, because what we need to focus on is our story and what is important to us.

The only thing that matters is you, your health and your happiness. Please stop torturing yourself with “what it could have been if only”, “I am still awake so it means I can keep going”, “sorry I am busy all month, I can’t see you”. Please give yourself a break, please appreciate the wonderful human being that you are and please surround yourself with people that love you. You are doing great.

#life

32 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Great message, totally agree. Also, it reminds me that most successful people have other, outside factors that got them where they are, things like being born in the right family, having the right connections at the right time, etc. Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thanks for this. Sometimes dreams don’t come true because they are, well, only dreams. Not all dreams are achievable for a variety of reasons (some listed by Crandew), and to imply otherwise is a disservice. This is similar to the idea that we all should do what we love, and the money will follow — another concept that is not necessarily true. And even if we are lucky enough to create a career in a field we love (as I was), it doesn’t mean we’ll love every minute of every day. Work – even work we enjoy – is still work!

    Sorry! That was a bit off track, but it does kind of go along with what you’ve said.

    Liked by 2 people

    • thanks for this message, your point is absolutely linked to my message! There are ups and downs in everything in life: work, relationships, health! What really matters is trying to take care of ourselves and do what is important for us, not to fulfil other people’s expectations! Sometimes having a job that has nothing to do with what you love is a way to keep work and personal life separated, and there is nothing wrong with that either! As you said, if you are luckyenough to monetise your passion, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be a walk in the park, as we often are lead to believe. 🙂

      Like

  3. I really enjoyed this post. I think that we often learn more from our failures than our successes. Not every dream or plan will work out, and not because we don’t try hard enough. We have to teach our children that, teach them that all their families before them had both successes and big failures, and they still went forward, healed, moved on to the next dream. Every golden bowl can break, and be repaired. I tell my grandchildren to remember that the Facebook images people choose to show are exactly that, an edited life that doesn’t include the imperfect most of the time.

    Like

  4. Oh, I love this post. Spot on message. You are very much right, of course. Failing is actually a part of succeeding, isn’t it? I suppose what can happen is for us to normalize failing, that it is not the end of the world, and life goes on.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is such an awesome reminder!

    “We need to stop thinking that everything has to be obtained with blood, sweat and tears, that following our dreams has to be a painful process, that successful people don’t have a family/social life/hobbies, that the only way to reach our goals is to give 100% of ourselves and if we fail it means we didn’t give it enough.”

    I couldn’t agree more, yet I find myself doing just that sometimes. But I’m learning and progressing. Thank you so much for reminding us that we’re all human and we can’t do everything. Bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for this lovely post. There are even people with no hobbies at all. Why do we need this feeling of achievement all the time? Just doing nothing is a perfectly human need 😉

    Like

  7. I agree- we should appreciate ourselves for who we are and what we have achieved. It’s okay not to always be amazing and perfect at everything. And it is also definitely okay to take some time off and not do anything at all for a while. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I totally agree. Working hard does not guarantee success! Unfortunately, a lot of younger people have been conditioned to believe this, and I believe it is the cause of a lot of therapy! People need to be nicer to themselves, especially right now. Buona Domenica, Cristina

    Liked by 1 person

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